29th Feb

The 29th of February only happens every 4 years so I just wanna make a list of what I wanna achieve in this gap of 4 years. Maybe in 2016, I'll read this and be like 'wow, I didnt achieve any of these' and laugh. Ok, maybe cry. And slit my wrist.        
ignore negativity.

Anyways, in the next 4 years, I want:
. To be doing a course I will really enjoy in University
. To be partying on a daily (or should I say nightly) basis ;)
. To have more confidence. 5x more? approximately
. To have a car!
. To have a beautiful girlfriend!!
. My family to be happy
. The earth to still exist (cos as y'all know, the world's fucking ending this year, there may not be a 2016 ==' FML)
. To get hencher and have 16 inch arms..........? Ok, I'll settle with 15.5
. To not lose contact with my QM friends (cos I love you guys, no homo, and you girls too)
. My art coursework to be finished. Permanently. Stupid art.
. 3D TV to develop MORE. IMAGINE 3D PORN GUYS... (jk_                  
-or am i? yeah i am.

Whilst I'm making this list, I realised.

The same DATE, 29th of Feb wont happen for 4 years but the day I just had won't happen again. Ever. Cos, lets face it, as we all know, the Tardis doesn't exist... D:
Everyone should be making the most of their days and not miss any opportunities.

It's turning warmer :)
Good: Sunshine, longer days
Bad: Moths and spiders... i'll put my mum on speed-dial. just in case.

Kids are so, so weird...

Me and a few friends go to a weekly school tingy called LAC project, stands for Looked After Children. You go there to help less fortunate kids with homework. Here's just one of the days we were there mentoring these identical twins:

My friend 'Hali', as he would like to be identified as, was teaching the kid how to read. The kid came to the word 'leg' and stopped because he didn't know the word.
Now, if that kid was Chinese, his parents would have beat the 7 shades of poop out of him with a feather duster because being in Year 2 and not knowing how to read 'leg' is just plain stupid.

Hali raised his leg up and pointed at it to indicate that the word was in fact, 'leg'. He put it back down but as soon as you know it, the kid started stroking his lap. Sexually. Whilst reading.
Hali jizzed on the table and he was quickly held down by the surrounding teachers. They phoned 999 later on.

Jk about jizzing, but he made the funniest face ever and he's now the new paedophile of the school. LOLL XD

Part 2. The twins both wore glasses. I don't know how this situation developed but one of the twins took his fucking glasses off and you know the bits of the glasses where it rests on ur nose. He fucking shoved that up his snotty nostrils and IT STAYED. I threw up a bit in my mouth. FUCKKK! I would have slit my wrist but then that would leave a huge mess for cleaners...

It was like this. Except their glasses had the plasticky thingies and it was stuck up their nose...
LOL for  the re-enactment. 

There's more parts to it but I think this post is getting too long and shit.
Why do kids do this shit? I got 3 little brothers but when they were little, they were nowhere near this level. Maybe it's only white kids? My mum used to tell me white people are shit dutty and they only shower once a week.

Or it could be because they're being looked after. If that's the case, I'm sorry twins and I take everything I said back... Ok........ Well.... See you two at LAC next week XD

If you were wondering, this is Hali the paedophile. Kinda ruins the
confidentiality of the whole post  as well as giving him the code name ''Hali'' tbh...

Get out of your comfort zone!

Comfort zone is when you finally get content with the way your life is and you don't want to change, even when you know there are things you can to do improve yourself.

It's human nature to just become content with what you have but being content doesn't necessarily mean being happy. Being content is just fulfilling life's basic minimums whereas being happy is reached by taking it one step further. Only by pursuing your life with passion will you achieve happiness.

Many people stay in the comfort zone because they are afraid that by leaving it, it will worsen their current situation and run into obstacles. That's why they suck dicks for a living.

Everyday, I try and get out of my comfort zone, but it's waaay harder than it sounds. If you're staying in yours, maybe after reading this you'll feel motivated and won't feel like shit anymore. okbye.

Picture of me eating pizza last year. Look at the awesome me now.

Valentines Day

This year's Valentines day, I spent it with my fam. Because Valentines day is about spending time with the ones you love enit... Bare cheesy.
Nah jk, I'm single.......... D:  But I do love my family though! Very cereal.

We went to Cafe Soya in B'ham (cuz we duh classy bitches) and then went bowling across the street.
OH, and then went to the Dentists. Odd way to end a day...
I thrashed my brothers in bowling!! Even though they're like 8... Works for me though XD The best part was at the Dentist, apparently I got no problems with my teeth and I don't need to come back for a year instead of the usual 6 months!! At that point, I wanted to ask for a fucking sticker!!!! :D My teeth are so sick, maybe I'm meant to be a dentist 

My bro was sitting on the bowling ball stand. Thought this was funny...

see, these are my teeth ----> :D    LOL

Girl's hairstyle

I've got a strange confession.

Ever since the beginning of forever, I've had a thing for girls with tied up hair. For example. if you are a ugly bitch and you put your hair down, I'd get instantly de-bonerfied. But if you're an ugly bitch and you tie your hair up, I'd get mega turned on.
Jk, I wouldn't get turned on if you were an ugly bitch. Bad example..... Wait! I'll stop being so shallow. Sorry all you ugly girls out there... Actually NO, if you think the ugly bitch I'm talking about is you, get some self confidence and stop thinking you're ugly. Gosh. Getting off topic...

Good effort on paint though, right?

Anyway, tie your hair up for me please all you chicks out there.

First post

Hi, I'm making a blog for the jokes.
On this blog you can stalk me 24/7. it'll be fun!!!


If you don't know this already, I'm proper forgetful so unless I really want to remember something. I wont. So maybe a few years from now, I can look back on these shitty blog posts I created and laugh at what a skinny phaggot I was. Cool, lets start.

Thought I'd include a pic of me drinking coffee right this second.

and also first posts are gay.